"This is what one thirsts for, I realize, after the smallness of the day, of work, of details, of intimacy - even of communication, one thirsts for the magnitude and universality of a night full of stars, pouring into one like a fresh tide."
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh Gift from the Sea
there is part of me that could be jealous
envious of those who came to this earlier than i did
others who seem to uncover the importance of moments
the importance of satisfying that thirst within themselves and not waiting
understanding that they are worthy with confidence and no guilt
there were times in past years that i tired my best to live with fullness, but inside of me their must have been doubt
because it always came with an eagerness to please others, so needing or wanting their confirmation
and when they could not see, did not feel the deep urges i felt, i soon began to doubt
losing trust within myself and spending priceless time tying to pinpoint
just where it was that i went wrong
but lately i have come to understand that not everyone has to notice or understand
in fact some people are not even capable of understanding the thirst i so deeply feel at times, and that is okay
but i know now that i am enough and don't need approval, or confirmation
i just need to open myself up to possibilities and be couragious
and recognize when i need to quench that thirst and know it is okay to do so
today i understand that i need refilling and recharging
i need to gather at times with those who are like-minded
those who are non judgmental and don't question but rather just listen and acknowledge my doubts
those who help me see that this work is important and that i am worthy
because when this happens it is amazing. . .
and beautiful. . .
and magical . . .
We gathered. Nine of us from last year's 52 of You class. We came together for 48 hours; just us and the ocean. We cried and laughed and talked and listened. I came home recharged and yet calm; energized and yet peaceful. I came home so full of all of them I can't yet really talk about it so I am not even going to try. But know it was good and know that you are worth it. So be open and mindful and dig deep to satisfy any thirst you might have, knowing that if you are brave and take a chance it just might change something deep inside of you will never be quite the same.
tons of love, cathy
i hope the day is good to you!