knee deep in weeds

notes on living a life


“Open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close forever.” ~ Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See 

The dog and I took off yesterday and headed out to one of our state parks for a few hours. It was muddy and wet, but the sky was blue and the sun was out. The river was high and fast and beautiful and the shore was full of smells and we both enjoyed ourselves. I find myself at times a bit lost. Most of my days now are wide open and I am not really sure how to fill them. It is an adjustment. One I am working on. There is a fine line between finding something to keep me busy and being engaged in something that fills me up. So I am trying not to hurry it along, but rather let it unfold some. 

I have discovered however that too much time is fuel for overthinking, and I am struggling a bit with that right now too. I remember days, months, and even years when I barely had time to process much of anything. So now I feel this need to organize, do all the things I never had time to do before, things I think will give my life some order and yet I find most of it unrewarding and unnecessary. I admit that there are times I long for those busy days again; but also am so aware that each moment is worth noticing and that this is all part of life's process. 

I constantly fight the conversations in my head telling me I should put the book down and vacuum, or there is laundry that needs done and I should do it. Those voices are from years and years of knowing it was bad news to get behind. Today those things are not crucial and I need to relax and let go, but I fight it and as I said before I am a bit lost. 

Nothing is stopping me, but me. I know this. 

Our Shooting With Soul group is amazing. One of the ladies put together a blog and I would love for you to take a peek. Some of us are sharing there and some of us are keeping things private in our flickr pool. This week's theme is reflection.... can you find me? 

as always, thank you so much for stopping by
thank you for making me part of your day,