knee deep in weeds

notes on living a life


“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”  ~ Albert Einstein 

i wonder at times what kind of life i would lead
if i were, let's say, a farmwife in the middle of nowhere
some hundred years ago . . . 
(oh hell.... maybe i am the farmer)
where would i get my information?
how would i know how things were supposed to be done? 
would i know by talking to the farmer and his wife who live next door
100 acres away? 
or would i just learn by trial and error?
would i have time to pursue my passions,
my creative dreams
or would they all be connected to survival?
knitting wool socks and canning food, , , 
passions with a tangible purpose 
right now i want to do it all
and already day three into the new year, i know i can't
so i must pick and choose and that is hard
and for me this means filtering some of the good stuff that is around me
i wonder if i were to back away from it all
close myself off.... unplug, stop reading, watching movies, listening to NPR
would my creativity stop? 
i have seen this happen to people 
i won't do this, because for me,  there is this need to share and get feedback
and an urge to take it all in, gaze and listen and ooh and aah 
but it is hard at times
because there is so much goodness at my  fingertips and i can't figure out sometimes
if  my ideas are my own, or someone else's.... and i wonder, is anything new anymore? 
i have to just keep at it. . . 
doing what i like, doing what my gut tells me and my heart 
gleaming ideas from those creative souls around me and making something of my own somehow
stepping back to see what i come up with 
nourishing my soul 
picking and choosing and 
spinning it my way. . .  

isn't life grand!