knee deep in weeds

notes on a simple life


“She knew that the world was plainly divided into those who fought an unrelenting battle to live, and those who surrendered and died. This was a simple fact.” 
 ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, The Signature of All Things 

Deep inside my consciousness  there are random, mindful little boxes which I have scattered here and there around my life. I have placed some out in the open, where I can get to them easily and where others can almost see them; detecting how they encompass and define my life.  But I also agonize and work at masking others deep inside the crevices of my heart, protecting that silly girl, that bewildered mother, that panicky gray haired woman. 

There is a beautiful handmade floral one, which is tangible and earmarked for cancer; the lid, tightly closed, even though parts of it try to creep outside, and into my thoughts almost daily. Orphaned and motherhood are not visible but rather more of an awareness and they are stacked one on top of each other. And while I am now the oldest generation in my family , I am not so far gone I can't remember my mother's softness, my father's voice, or the moment each of my boys were placed in my arms. Boxes such as these spring open often, memories surfacing; moments recollected, making me happy, helping me to grasp just how wide my life is. 

These days I find myself filling not only boxes with memories and moments but also beautiful bowls and little ceramic plates with touchable  trinkets of a life well lived: tiny shells, feathers, sea glass, rocks, seeds, marbles, words, and photos, so many photos. I pause and wonder at times what I might do when they start to overtake my space. Will I have the ability to weed them out? Or will I seek out more containers? They really are not proof of a well lived life. That can only be found deep with each of us. But I also know this; that silly girl, that steadfast mother, that gray haired woman, the one who fills those boxes and beautiful containers is, if nothing else, relentless in her beliefs. And for now, while she still is blessed with this amazing life she lives, she will march on, doing what she loves. Filling her pockets, her hard drive and her awareness with mindfulness and grace. 


you are here, and that makes me smile, 
thanks so much!