knee deep in weeds

notes on a simple life

welcome home || week 32

“She supposed she could Google, but she preferred to wonder.” 
― Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney, The Nest

i head to Northern Idaho for five days
back to her cabin, the three of us this time,
moving our yearly beach trip to the lake. 
i pack my cameras, a few lenses, 
but they mostly sit in my bag, untouched. 
i use my phone and don't even do much of that because
it seems laborious and awkward. it dawns on me,
maybe what i need is a bit of a break. 
so i relax and sit into the days with gratitude
and awareness and mark the days off with simple photos from my phone
and write in my journal. . .  

"Very rarely do you hear anyone say they write things down and feel worse. It’s an act that helps you, preserves you, energizes you, in the
very doing of it. "
~ Naomi Shihab Nye

i crawl into bed each night, the room so dark and quiet and luxurious. 
i miss him and the dog, but relish in having the bed all to myself.
i wake slowly each morning and take time to listen to a book, or podcast
or maybe read a bit, before starting my day.
i savor the warmth of the covers as the cool morning air
comes through my open window.

"Every morning, I find myself a different person. I’m always a mystery to myself. If I knew in the first hours of the morning what I’m going to do, what is going to happen, what attitude or decision should I take — I think my life would be deadly boring because, well, what makes life interesting is the unknown. It is the risks that we take every single moment of a single day."

~ Paulo Coelho 

i think about years past and how the three of us come together each summer. 
i think about how the landscape is different this year, and how we let go
of certain traditions without even talking about them, while
holding on to others with diligence. 
i can't help but wonder what lies around new corners for each of us
and who we will be next year when we gather, something i never
did when we were younger. 
i am thankful for moments i notice, conversations i will remember
and time to think. 

“Sometimes a small change could make all the difference.” 
― Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney, The Nest

three things ::
we eat so well
i don't get to swim, because it is way too cold
today, i turn 62 

“When I grow up I want to be an old woman.” 
― Michelle Shocked

i think about being open and do my best to behave.
i think about compassion and listening and about
letting go of judgment and savoring moments. 
i think about my parents, and what an amazing childhood i had, 
not a lot of frills or pomp and circumstance, but crocked full of so much goodness
and love and nature and simple living. i understand the apple does not
fall too far from the tree and i thank them over and over and over. . . 
and i come home knowing, and more importantly, liking myself a little bit better. 

“Don't you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?” 
― Sarah Addison Allen, Lost Lake

i meet him in Richland, where he has worked all week while i have slept in
ate too much and vacationed. 
he has watched the dog with such love, coming home to walk him
at lunch time, taking him to the dog park each night. 
i open the door to our trailer, his home away from home,
and am greeted with such joy. 
the dog is beside himself and i laugh and take him to the grass
where he rolls and rolls and tires to lick me, while we wait for grandpa to get off work. 
he pulls in and grabs a few things from inside to take home with him. 
we are all so excited to get home we crawl into our separate cars,
ready to hit the road, when suddenly he pops out and walks back
to me; welcome home he says, as he bends to give me a quick kiss. and we both smile. 

how was your week?