here i am || week 33

“Note that this journey is uniquely yours, no one else's. So the path has to be your own. You cannot imitate somebody else's journey and still be true to yourself. Are you prepared to honor your uniqueness in this way?” 
― Jon Kabat-Zinn

the week is full of restlessness and some self doubt. i turn things over in my thoughts, 
even though so much of it out of my control. . . 
at times i yearn for a handout, illustrated, with colorful arrows pointing this way
and that, for different paths or scenarios i might take,
or different questions i might ask.
a step by step walkthroughs, depending on which way i choose, 
all of it coming out good. . . 
 

“One practical way to do this is to look at other people and ask yourself if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them.” 
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

i write, i take photos, i garden, i read, i walk the dog and decided one day i need something more. . . 
something to stretch my creative side, seeing clearly that my photography,
while peaceful and a fair representation of my life,
is boring me. . .
i ponder what i might do to change things up a bit
and draw a blank, but won't give up. 

yet. . .  

“Guess what? When it comes right down to it, wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that’s what you’ve wound up doing. Whatever you are thinking right now, that’s what’s on your mind. Whatever has happened to you, it has already happened. The important question is, how are you going to handle it? In other words, “Now what?” 
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

the mornings are cool
and the evenings grow dark earlier and earlier.
the flowers step on stage for their last big show
and it is stunning, their best performance in years
their beauty deserves to be captured, i tell myself
yet, i hold off until the last moment of each day,  hoping something
more avant garde, more creative will drop into my lap
silly girl. . .  
there is nothing in the world that matches the color of that rose, 
 i am humbled to capture it,

“and remind you that you are here now, and that when you get there, you will be there. If you miss the here, you are likely also to miss the there. If your mind is not centered here, it is likely not to be centered just because you arrive somewhere else.” 
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

pondering :: 
social media (always)
leaving my self portrait group
spending some upcoming, much needed, quality time with two beautiful woman
my baby getting married. . .  soon
a gathering in October
giving up our cable TV
being open to the unexpected
two close friends becoming grandmas
gratitude

“and remind you that you are here now, and that when you get there, you will be there. If you miss the here, you are likely also to miss the there. If your mind is not centered here, it is likely not to be centered just because you arrive somewhere else.” 
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are
“Three tomatoes are walking down the street - a papa tomato, a mama tomato and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Papa tomato get angry, goes over to Baby tomato and squishes him.....and says 'Ketchup!’"
Uma Thurman in 'Pulp Fiction'

i consider the upcoming seasons and the changes they bring, 
the dark and rainy days that will unavoidably arrive at my back door
and decide to look for a creative outlet. . . now
something to fill the hours, but more importantly, something to fill my soul. 
a new class, a fellow creative being to do a project with, a challenge. . .
any suggestions? 

“So this, I believe, is the central question upon which all creative living hinges: Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

so, how was you week? 
please live bravely and open and take in every moment, 
xoxo