weaving scenarios || week 34

“I still hadn’t learned the power of words. How, once they have left your mouth, they have a breath and a life of their own. I had yet to realize that you no longer own them. I hadn’t learned that, once you have let them go, the words can then, in fact, become the owner of you.” 
― Joanna Cannon, The Trouble with Goats and Sheep

the week is full of too many thoughts,
i weave scenarios throughout my head and within my heart,
wasting precious time. i work at embracing the uneasy feeling
(openly blaming the full moon) but also
know there is wisdom to be had, 
if i am open to it. . . 

“But that day I was anxious. I was nervous and worried, uneasy and distracted. I paced around and never felt settled. I didn't care for the sensation, yet I realized it was possibly a natural progression of my evolving soul, and therefore I tried my best to embrace it.” 
― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

i listen to this and give it a go, 
finding it very difficult to separate my ego from my intuition. 
(i wonder at times why i do this to myself) but i go forth and write out some questions
and plug away to answer them, as honestly as i can. 
i try to release old resentments and the past and focus on today and
the true consciousness deep inside my being  . . . 

“To live every day as if it had been stolen from death, that is how I would like to live. To feel the joy of life, as Eve felt the joy of life. To separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. To say I am alive, I am wonderful, I am. I am. That is something to aspire to.” 
― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

i wake one day to feel joy, the upcoming wedding, our growing family,
strong friendships and him agreeing it is time for him to back away from work.
suddenly i ponder what it might be like to have him home
unpacked and underfoot, a willing partner. . . 
i find peace and hope and joy
and more importantly, possibilities. 

talking is good, listening is grand 

“Here is why I will be a good person. Because I listen. I cannot speak so I listen very well. I never interrupt, I never deflect the course of the conversation with a comment of my own.
...I beg of you, pretend you are a dog like me and LISTEN to other people rather than steal their stories.” 
― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

three things:: 
there are cranberry beans in the garden
i am finally reading this 
BLT's are the best right now 

“So much of language is unspoken. So much of language is compromised of looks and gestures and sounds that are not words. People are ignorant of the vast complexity of their own communication.” 
― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

i take a lesson from Lily, who is old and blind and full of love and wisdom.
if i take a wrong turn and fall down the stairs, i need to just pause
for a brief moment and scan my body, if all is well,
i should take a stab at which direction is up and go forth. . . 
following the voices of everyone i love, who are standing at the top
of the stairs encouraging me to be brave and give it a go. 
 

“What would the world be like without music or rivers or the green and tender grass? Would would this would be like without dogs?” 
― Mary Oliver, Dog Songs

how was your week? 
xoxox