knee deep in weeds

notes on a simple life

ordinary joy

“It's funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools:
the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up
I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools - friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty - and said
'do the best you can with these, they will have to do'. And mostly, against all odds, they do.” 
― Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith

The holiday hangover clears and I welcome calm ordinary days. We find ourselves with luxurious time on our hands and a broken septic system. Days are made up of saving water, as to not fill the tank again before the line is fixed. This involves trips to the gym for workouts and showers and excursions to the laundromat. We are on the schedule for a fix sometime in the next couple of weeks. The repair is minor and I am thankful. 

I think joy and sweetness and affection are a spiritual path. We’re here to know God, to love and serve God, and to be blown away by the beauty and miracle of nature. You just have to get rid of so much baggage to be light enough to dance, to sing, to play. You don’t have time to carry grudges; you don’t have time to cling to the need to be right.
— Anne Lamott

The dog and i walk the lake one day, as he cuts the concert of our old patio to allow access to the pipes. Bad designing, some 65 years ago, I think. Concert dust settles everywhere and the dog tracks it inside that night, up onto the bed, as we snuggle in to sleep. He helps me clean it all up the next day. He vacuums the outside, while I do the inside and all is well. We do this without anger or frustration or resentment. It is just ordinary life, not life threatening or anyones fault and the fix is easily attainable. 

The thing about light is that it really isn’t yours; it’s what you gather and shine back. And it gets more power from reflectiveness; if you sit still and take it in, it fills your cup, and then you can give it off yourself.
— Anne Lamott

The weather is glorious for a few days and we make good on a promise to the dog and take him to the dog park. The park is full with other like-minded dog lovers. The dog runs and flirts, wags his tail and bays when other dogs get too rough with him or each other. He sleeps hard that night, running in his sleep. I snap this with my phone and love it, because this pup is such a huge part of our lives and his smile brings me joy. 

Peace is joy at rest. Joy is peace on its feet.
— Anne Lamott

We head up north one day to meet with a realtor to look at a house. It is lovely, but too big and does not feel right. We both are a bit relieved because we truly are not ready mentally to make this move. We drop by the shop to see Brandon and meet the newleyweds for dumplings and  a beer before heading home to our own bed to sleep. 

...most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you.
— Anne Lamott

I clean out my desk drawers one afternoon and read old journal entries. I clearly recognize how much pain and anger and fear I have let go of over the past few years and grasp just how far I have come. I feel myself relax into simplicity and clarity and feel a love for myself that I have not felt for a very long time. 

Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.
— Anne Lamott

how was your week?