light switch || week 47

“Quick, make a wish.
Take a (second or third or fourth) chance.
Remake the world.” 
― Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun

the week is full of grocery shopping, emotional ups and downs, 
long morning conversations with him before we even get up,
and dog walks. . .  
the dog walks save me. 

“Who knows if, maybe, destiny is just how you tell yourself the story of your life?” 
― Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun

i seek new gratitudes, trying to fill the month up with more
than giving thanks for clean, running water, and my health.
i deliberately slow down,  take a few breaths, 
and i am reward with calm and a clearer
perspective, but also a few conflicts. . .  

“It kicks the breath out of me, kicks bright light into me.” 
― Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun

i find happiness in tiny things, 
the dog's new toy, a walk in the rain, 
Gilmore Girls and soup. . .  
i let go, cry a bit, and come out the other side
comfortable in my own skin. . .  for now.  

“What if I'm in charge of my own damn light switch?” 
― Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun

three things ::
we talk about going camping soon ( i hope we do it)
i decide December is a good month to eat up all the food in the pantry
(only buying perishables) 
i pay my library fine

“Maybe we’re accumulating these new selves all the time.” Hauling them in as we make choices, good and bad, as we screw up, step up, lose our minds, find our minds, fall apart, fall in love, as we grieve, grow, retreat from the world, dive into the world, as we make things, as we break things.” 
― Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun

i wake up today, still full from the carb-overload, 
i wake a bit wiser and a bit more confident,
i wake, and let go
and reach out to grab what is up next. . .   

“It’s time for second chances. It’s time to remake the world.” 
― Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun

how was your week? 
xoox