an act of faith || week 48

“Someone once told me that writing is an act of faith. Another person told me that forgiving is also an act of faith. That’s true. I think both heal, both are arts. What a fine thing it is to do both at once.” 
― Kaye Gibbons, Ellen Foster

the week is full of planned out escape routes, 
that fight or flight syndrome, kicking in big time. 
i wallow inside for a time, hibernating with the dog beside me
until it dawns on me, once again, that this is a rerun that i am tired of, 
and i have the power to change it. 

"Time unused and only endured still vanishes, as if time itself is starving, and each day is swallowed whole, leaving no crumbs, no memory, no trace at all.” 
― Elisabeth Tova Bailey, The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating

a close friend calls to iron out the details on an upcoming gathering,
and says these two words to me. . . 
"things change" and somewhere deep inside of me a light radiates. 
i decided right then and there that i can either relive the past over and over
or live right now. . .
the choice is obvious. 

“Survival often depends on a specific focus: a relationship, a belief, or a hope balanced on the edge of possibility. Or something more ephemeral: the way the sun passes through the hard, seemingly impenetrable glass of a window and warms the blanket, or how the wind, invisible but for its wake, is so loud one can hear it through the insulated walls of a house.” 
― Elisabeth Tova Bailey, The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating

three things :: 
i read this in 24 hours and now am on the lookout for a snail
i take some photos of some friends for their Christmas cards and understand i am not a people photographer
i wrap up thirty days of gratitude and decide to keep it going. . . 

“I liked the sound of the word 'snail' every time I said it; the word was as small and simple as the creature itself.” 
― Elisabeth Tova Bailey, The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating

i recognize that this space contributes to my dilemma;
the close examination of the moments of my life
on a daily, ongoing basis wrecks havoc at times.
but the brightness of life always wins, the creativity i find behind
my camera lens, helps me walk through dark times. 
my job is not to stop but to seek balance, 
and to live with my whole-being, 
so here i am. . .  

“It occurs to me that being in the fog does not have to mean being altogether lost.” 
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman
“I think it was Thomas Merton who said that the easiest way to rid yourself of neurosis is to surround yourself with nature, or more specifically trees.” 
― Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

it feels like snow. . .  
how was your week? 
xoooox