last year, my one word was listen and when i picked it, i had good intentions of applying
it to others; listening with my whole being, making sure i was present without judgement,
and trying hard not to put my story into what others were saying.
but something happened and those good intentions went south at some point.
i paused, i learned to breath and to be still. i started asking
myself how i really felt about this or that, and instead of listening to others
i started listening to myself. trust was established and soon
i began to hear rumblings of my truths.
i learned the words: let me think about it,
no, that won't work for me and, i have changed my mind. and i use them.
in the process my world has not come tumbling down. i still have friends and my family
still loves me. yes, hard things still happen; pain is a reality as is confusion,
but amongst the upheaval i manage to find joy every day in the most
unlikely places. i sit with that joy and breath, taking time to linger in it
and write about it and what follows is fruitful and gratifying.
“Sometimes you've got to be able to listen to yourself and be okay with no one else understanding.”
― Christopher Barzak, One for Sorrow