knee deep in weeds

notes on living a life


“If we thought of life as a gift, we might not demand nearly as much from it. And if we lived more graciously, giving of ourselves more freely to the well-being of others, many of our personal concerns would disappear, and life would become easier for all.”
― Lowell Bennion

the week is full of gratitude and way to many carbs.
i wake each day with a bit of a food hangover, vowing
to be better, but it seems like this is the one holiday with a free pass
to overindulge. and i do. to counteract some of it,
the dog and i walk.

we walk within the small city where my youngest son and his wife live.
strolling through their neighborhood, i pick out which houses i
could maybe live in and wonder what it would be like to live so close to
Trader Joe’s that i could walk there, for our daily groceries.
long blocks and back alleys make for new sights for me, and new smells for the dog.

we walk one night after dinner, in the darkness of nightfall.
i rarely do this alone at home, afraid i might run into a bear,
or more likely a skunk. i am not afraid along these darkened long blocks,
and spy on people, thorough their windows, as they fix dinner, watch TV,
or get ready to walk their own dogs. i savor the quiet and the rain misted air.

we walk before my morning coffee, and before his
breakfast, letting the others sleep in. i walk away the stress and
darkness that has followed me around the last few months.
even with all the carbs, i feel lighter, and i ponder all the reasons why
this might be happening, and pray it is just not the change of scenery.

i walk away from fall, with its pumpkins lined up straight on porches, right
into the Christmas season with lights strung on outdoor trees.
serendipity i think, but i take it as a sign and just allow the goodness to flow.

“Or maybe it’s about the wonderful things that may happen if you break the ropes that are holding you.”
― Mary Oliver, Dog Songs

the dog sleeps well after so many walks. he learns to play
well with others and goes into his kennel, on his own,
when he has had enough. i learn something from him,
and understand tiny naps and breaks are a good thing,
even when you surrounded by people you love so deeply.

“Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
― Mary Oliver

Xo. Cathy