knee deep in weeds

notes on a simple life

crossing the street

“Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart. The rest of it will take care of itself.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

I move through the week dodging dark corners, holding on by the skin of my teeth at times. There is a tick scare with Basil and during his visit to the vet, she actually gets down on her knees, rubs his soft ears and kisses him. She can tell he is the light of our lives and she is kind and understanding and we bring him home with a clean bill of health. Gratitude flows inside every dark crevice, and light appears. 

“Gratitude, always. Always, gratitude.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

I pick raspberries and dig potatoes, watch the first couple zucchini grow before my eyes and water. I go to the gym and row and lift a few weights. We eat all our meals outside on the deck and in the evening we watch Father Brown on Netflix, while the dog snuggles between us. Do I want more? Yea, I do at times. 

One day a friend on IG post these words. . .  
"Who am I to want so much?"  I come back to those words over and over. 
I even talk to him about it. I won't give up myself I tell him, I just can't. 

“Just say what you want to say . . . and say it with all your heart.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

My friend Joy talks about the idea that life invites us to hold and feel opposites at the same time: dark and light; pain and joy; doubt and courage. I understand the dark corners will always be there, but so will joy and courage and light. My job is to let them in. 

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one."
~ Rumi

I allow strength and bravery to seep within me. I make a list of what nurtures me and post it in my office. I seek some help. I pray and I meditate. I write in my journal. I buy a new lens for my camera and I get outside, raking in the beautiful benefits of all our hard labor in the garden; allowing creativity to open up and lead me. 

"Our mind is capable of passing beyond the dividing line we have drawn for it. Beyond the pairs of opposites of which the world consists, other, new insights begin."
~ Hermann Hesse

"I crossed the street to walk in the sunshine."
~ Elizabeth Gilbert