knee deep in weeds

notes on a simple life

spring awakening

“And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?” 
― Mary Oliver

spring teases us as we often wake to blue sky, only to get caught off guard
in a downpour of rain later in the day. 
overnight the earth changes, and if i pay attention, tomorrow i will notice
new blossoms have opened, and green shoots will have doubled in size. 
the dog and i spend time roaming the yard, and the ponds
looking for tiny miracles, and unlike the daily news, 
we are never disappointed . . . 

feeling more and more at home within myself, i wake with eagerness.
in my head is a list of goodness and curiosities so long, there is no way
i will get through it. no worries, i think, and i take my time to explore and ask
questions. for right now my world is open for the taking, and
i am old enough to know this can all change in a heartbeat. so i
treat each day as the gift it is . . . 

A day is precious because each day is essentially the microcosm of your whole life.
— John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

there is a birthday celebration for one of the boys and we head up
north for a long weekend. as always, my heart overflows with love. 
i struggle to hold back tears of acknowledgment for just how full
their lives are. i stay steadfast in the moments, tucking memories away
for later. one night we all gather for dinner, drinking fancy drinks
and eating off each other's plate. i walk back to the car, arms entangled
with my kids and him, full of gratitude and maybe
a bit too much wine . . . 


the dog and i wake and walk the paths first thing each morning. 
we greet the chickens as they free range and watch as she cleans the coop
and gathers eggs. we eat them for breakfast the following morning with
cinnamon toast, done under the broiler. the top crisp and sweet, 
the bottom soft and warm. . .  

i bail on the 100 day project and choose instead to read poetry each morning
with my morning coffee. a bit selfish and unencumbered, i am able
to relax into the words, mulling them over in my mind,
and holding them throughout the day. 
i meditate, feed the dog, make summer vacation plans, go to the gym and
laugh with him. i put my energy into the tangible; saying yes to spontaneous lunch dates,
 and sketching out a vegetable garden plan. 

I would like not minding, whatever travels my heart.
To follow it all the way into leaf-form, bark-furl, root-touch,
and then keep walking, unimaginably further.
— Jane Hirshfield, Given Sugar, Given Salt

the waking of spring is welcoming, and much needed, and i allow the darkness
of winter to escape as it sees fit. tripping me up at times for sure,  but not
bringing me to my knees. i find just enough contentment to satisfy, but
not enough to squelch curiously and wonder . . . 

In beauty’s presence there is no longer any separation between thought and senses, between heart and soul.
— John O'Donohue, Divine Beauty: The Invisible Embrace

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” 
― W.B. Yeats


thanks for stopping by today,

love, light and gratitude,