monday|| day 240

“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, 'There now, hang on, you'll get over it.' Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.” 
― Barbara Kingsolver, The Bean Trees

i wonder just how honest to be here
but remind myself it is my space
and i do it for healing, to mark the passing of  time,
to look back and remember, to move forward with intent
to wonder and grow but also to notice when something
is just not right. . .  

i am afraid to stop for fear that will be it, 
so here i am showing up every day, doing what i can
to keep the pain at bay, 
today i took some huge, brave steps
today i choose me. . . 

but in the end i could not hit publish, 
in the light of the next day, i can