in the course of my lifetime i have surprised myself
over and over again at how strong i really am. for years i lived in
bliss, and then life began to slowly tear away at me, piece by piece,
as it does, no-one escapes it. i allow the pain inside because
what is life if we don't? at times i was sure i would break,
and never return to normal. and i was right, normal is always in revision mode.
when the cut is fresh it can be grueling, but as is heals i can always find
the lesson, the goodness and the joy and a new normal emerges.
today i was tested so very hard, even though i knew it was coming.
i crawled deep inside myself for most of the morning.
but as i walked past the guest room i caught site of the light, and this bear,
who was loved so very hard by one of my sons, something inside of me shuffled.
the dog, who is always on my heels, curiously jumped up onto the bed and stretched out
in the sunlight. i laid my cameras down and joined him in the sun, breathing deep.
i know tomorrow the cut will start to heal and i will be able to face it,
tender, but also a smidgin stronger.