“All there is to thinking is seeing something noticeable which makes you see something you weren't noticing which makes you see something that isn't even visible.”
― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It and Other Stories
***
The Christmas trees were cut and in the back of the truck,
But the pizza place, the one that brews their own root beer, didn’t open until noon. Just enough time for some of us to head to the river to watch for fish and eagles.
“Brussels sprouts are misunderstood –
probably because most people don’t know how to cook them properly.”
— Todd English
November was full of beautiful landscapes, morning frost and Thursday school pick ups.
It was a month of digging deep for me, wallowing in nostalgia and a type of love that almost broke me.
I back away from anything that is not real, and cry a bit when he streams the first Christmas music on Spotify
We celebrate Thanksgiving with our kids, who did all the cooking, and most of the clean up
later they send me the selfies they took together knowing I am in a tender spot right now, and my joy soars
I dig out the Christmas dishes, and ask him to get the lights ready for tomorrow
because we are going out, with our amazing kids, to cut our Christmas trees
***
The house was very quiet, and the fog—we are in November now—pressed against the windows like an excluded ghost.
-”E.M. Forster“
The fog hangs over the lake for days bringing with it a mood that I embrace. I read, getting up out of my chair off and on, to check on the changing view outside the windows. I turn over Thanksgiving plans to my kids telling them I will clean up after they leave if they will plan the menu and do the cooking. And, I take a huge step to help my mental well being, and find I am proud of myself in the process.
***
“It shocks me how I wish for...what is lost and cannot come back.”
― Sue Monk Kidd,
We take a drive down into the Skagit Valley
one very foggy, misty, morning.
I cannot resist giving these two images
a bit of nostalgia.
***
“Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled — to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world. I want to believe I am looking into the white fire of a great mystery. I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing — that the light is everything — that it is more than the sum of each flawed blossom rising and falling. And I do.”
― Mary Oliver, House of Light
The rain pours off and on all day.
I slip outside for a few minutes just to feel it on my face -
maybe wanting to prove to myself that I am alive,
and capable. Capable of finding beauty in the world
right outside my door.
I am pleased when I find the spider web,
pleased the evergreen glitters like magic,
and, that the rain soaked leaf landed in the perfect spot
***
"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." — Aristotle
I stumble across these images from November 2023, in my reject archives and wonder what it was that made me feel they were not worthy. It also makes me curious as to what else I have abandoned or overlooked in my life.
I have been waking up, the last couple of weeks or so, full of anxiety. It is effecting my well being in all kinds of ways. I know I am not alone in this. And while I am doing my best to stay away from the dark side of the news that is not always possible. These images helped me to see that there is beauty to be found in the tiniest bit of light, beauty that might help ease some of this anxiety I am carrying around inside of me. I am wondering if maybe they will help you too?
***
I am struck by the simplicity of light in the atmosphere in the autumn, as if the earth absorbed none,
and out of this profusion of dazzling light came the autumnal tints.
-Henry David Thoreau
simple things
the colors of the leaves as they turn in our yard
soup on the stove
pausing when I make dinner to say prayers
giving up coffee for a week or so to see how it feels
the sound of the wind
watching the hummingbirds
hot chocolate and a new book
drum class
***