“She thought, If I’m crazy, I may as well do what I feel like doing. No point being crazy if you have to worry all the time about what people are thinking anyway.”
― Marilynne Robinson, Lila
I often agonize over what it truly is I feel like doing at times,
I wrangle with roadblocks, feeling judgement and guilt, and a bit crazy.
but as I stroll, camera in hand, I find beauty all around me.
some of it begs to be captured; keeping me inside the moment,
following light, free of scrutiny and accusations.
“The more uncertain I have felt about myself, the more there has grown in me a feeling of kinship with all things.” - Carl Jung
the week is full of first; we eat the first broccoli from the garden along with
a few strawberries, lettuce, and kale. the first organic cherries arrive at
the farm stand in town, along with fresh garlic and zucchini.
the roses (that were spared from the deer) put on their first flush,
and i cut the columbine down to the ground. the air conditioning kicks on, as
a heat wave hits us and rain is scarce, so i water something
everyday. the dog drinks from the end of the hose and digs a bit in the dirt
to find a cool place to lay come late afternoon.
summer is here in earnest. i try to stay up until dark, but prefer to get up
with the sun, and so i stop fighting the early bedtime, knowing the morning
will bring a choir of bird songs, fresh air, and time to just be. i understand how important
this time has become and allow myself to bask in the balm of its soothing medicine.
i feel a sense of freedom, along with a sense of peace as i stop resisting feelings and
emotions. but i also trip over memories and stumble into old behavior.
i don’t scold myself, but rather bush myself off and start over. sometimes
all it takes is a reframing of my perspective and trust, along with love,
for compassion to emerge.
i grasp that being aware is more than noticing the buttercups;
for awareness is fluid, and if i allow it to flow without restrictions or the need to
control it, beauty is everywhere. i give myself permission to be happy, to fully engage and love life,
even when things are hard and don’t go my way. . .
i have started back up with a daily photo, you can find them in the day-to-day tab up top,
if you are so inclined. i missed the practice, i missed the documenting of each day.
i took this with my 24mm lens. i love the point of view.
and that tongue!
have a beautiful week,
xooox
“Can I imagine what it would be like, in the moment, to have a heart that is ready for anything?”
- Tara Brach
have a beautiful weekend . . .
