prayers flying

"Do you bow your head when you pray or do you look up into that blue space?
Take your choice, prayers fly from all directions."

— Mary Oliver

Today I will run some errands and go to the post office.
Today I will sit on the floor in the children’s section of the library and choose some new books for Percy.
Today I will do my best to be kind, and pleasant, and upbeat.
Today I will live with that lump in my throat and try not to cry.
Today I will ponder just how much of the world I will have to shut out to protect my well being.

in the produce aisle

“A tomato may be a fruit, but it is a singular fruit. A savory fruit. A fruit that has ambitions far beyond the ambitions of other fruits.”

― E. Lockhart

I stand among the vegetables at our local food co-op watching the young man place these beautiful tomatoes in cardboard baskets. He offers me a bright red one to taste and I slide it into my month and taste summer. I reach for a paper bag and ask him to slip a couple baskets inside. He empties two very full baskets into the bag and hands me two baskets to place them in once I get home.

I can’t resist taking their picture.

the peonies

And the wind upon its way whispered the boughs of May, And touched the nodding peony flowers to bid them waken.

- Siegfried Sassoon

I tied them up with a nylon, which I had him pickup at the pharmacy one day a few weeks back.
The rain, while constant and unforgiving has not broken them down. They stand tall in the front garden, the bush full of buds, ready to open any day now.
Their season is far too short, so I will visit daily now, and do my best to capture them at from every angle.

my whole attention

Sometimes Arthur sees me and yells “Nana!” in the way some people might say “ice cream!” and others say “shoe sale!” No one else has sounded that happy to see me in many many years.

- Anna Quindlen

We take a snack and head down to the bay for a couple of hours. He digs in the sand, does his best to throw rocks in the waves, laughs at the seagulls and feels brave as he peeks through the slats on the bridge. He spots a crow, a few tiny crabs, a big cargo ship (he is sure is full of dinosaurs), and several dogs, all of whom he calls Bob. I try my best to get a few shots of him, but finally tuck my camera away and give him my whole attention, admitting to myself we both have more fun when I am fully present.

The weather is perfect, the constant rain we have had over the past several weeks has let up and it finally feels like we might be heading into summer. We sit on a bench and eat the strawberries we brought with us and watch the people. The playground is full of children and he watches with interest but is not ready yet to mingle among them. He sits, his small fingers stained red from the strawberries, not missing a thing as he kicks his feet back and forth. We talk about the rock he has in his pocket and all we have seen. I ask if he is ready to go home and he says yea. Gamps scoops him up and puts him in his carseat and I buckle him in. He talks all the way home, telling me over and over that we had fun at the beach today and I agree wholeheartedly, knowing enough to hold on to these memories with all my might, as time is flying by way too fast.

“Nature in her green, tranquil woods heals and soothes all afflictions.”

– John Muir

In need of some soothing, I take myself for a walk at a near by lake a few days back. Sticking to the makeshift paths among the tress rather than the well-kept gravel one that circles the lake, I am immersed in shades of green. I walk slowly, no destination in mind other than noticing what is around me. Weaving in and out, sometimes stepping over fallen trees and branches, I am able to let go of for a time the heartache I keep at bay by mindless busyness at home. I am able to just be, relishing the beauty of the this tiny forest on the outskirts of town among the shades of green.

look at all that goodness

“I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.”

― Anne Lamott

a few days back Percy was playing under the green maple in the backyard,
lifting up rocks to see what was underneath them
under one particular rock there was it all - ants, a worm, a slug and a beetle
”look at all that goodness”, he says to me
goodness indeed i think, as my heart melts

i have a thing for maple trees
mostly because I think they are pretty in every season
they also come in delicious colors
and have interesting textures
we have two, a red and a green, this is the green one