happy New year

December 31, 2022

“It is a strange and wonderful fact to be here, walking around in a body, to have a whole world within you and a world at your fingertips outside you.
It is an immense privilege, and it is incredible that humans manage to forget the miracle of being here.
Rilke said, ‘Being here is so much,’ and it is uncanny how social reality can deaden and numb us so that the mystical wonder of our lives goes totally unnoticed.
We are here. We are wildly and dangerously free.”

― John O'Donohue

Here I am, walking around in this body. I am going to give 2023 my best shot. I hope you do too!

December 26, 2022

Ice covers our world for a couple of days. Trees break from the weight, cars slide into ditches, and heading out with my camera is done with a plea to him to come pick me up if I am not back in a few minutes. We are without power, off and on, and have no internet connection. But we were warm and had candles.

To be truthful, it is just the break I needed.

Soon the temperature rises, the ice and snow melt, and come Christmas day we gather with the kids as the rain pours outside. Santa finds his way, and there is way too much food. I feel blessed.

I have always loved the week between Christmas and the New Year’s Day. It is a time to pause and regroup. Take note of what worked, and what didn’t for sure, but more importantly I view it as a time to rest. Over the course of the week, the tree will come down, and the decorations will be boxed up. I will read, watch some TV, eat leftovers, maybe get in a couple of walks, and hopefully get to spend some time with Percy.

I will wake each day and reflect on these words from John O’Donohue, letting go of 2022 and stepping into 2023 with gratitude, hope and maybe a bit more clarity.

At The End Of The Year

As this year draws to its end,
We give thanks for the gifts it brought
And how they became inlaid within
Where neither time nor tide can touch them.

The days when the veil lifted
And the soul could see delight;
When a quiver caressed the heart
In the sheer exuberance of being here.

Surprises that came awake
in forgotten corners of old fields
Where expectation seemed to have quenched.

The slow, brooding times
When all was awkward
And the wave in the mind
Pierced every sore with salt.

The darkened days that stopped
The confidence of the dawn.

Days when beloved faces shone brighter
With light from beyond themselves;
And from the granite of some secret sorrow
A stream of buried tears loosened.

We bless this year for all we learned,
For all we loved and lost
And for the quiet way it brought us
Nearer to our invisible destination.

-John O’Donohue

December 23, 2022

“He went to the church, and walked about the streets, and watched the people hurrying to and for, and patted the children on the head, and questioned beggars, and looked down into the kitchens of homes, and up to the windows, and found that everything could yield him pleasure. He had never dreamed of any walk, that anything, could give him so much happiness.”

― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

However you celebrate, I wish you Joy and Peace during this holiday season .

winter Solstice

December 21, 2022

The winter solstice has always been special to me as a barren darkness that gives birth to a verdant future beyond imagination, a time of pain and withdrawal that produces something joyfully inconceivable, like a monarch butterfly masterfully extracting itself from the confines of its cocoon, bursting forth into unexpected glory.

– Gary Zukav

Yesterday I woke to a glistening blanket of snow covering the tiny corner of my world.
The snow created a quiet that only snow can bring and I stood at the door listening, until the chill of the air forced me back inside.
I found myself reaching for my camera often throughout the day, for it seemed all creatures were celebrating with me.

the birds emptied the feeders . . .

the dogs played . . .

and as the day unfolded I felt myself unfold with it, a turning point full of hope and clarity.
Today, as the temperature drops to single digits, the sun is out and the light shines brightly.
The dark will come so early tonight, and tomorrow, we head back into the light.

my Proof

December 19, 2022

“Note that this journey is uniquely yours, no one else's. So the path has to be your own. You cannot imitate somebody else's journey and still be true to yourself. Are you prepared to honor your uniqueness in this way?”

― Jon Kabat-Zinn

The snow falls outside as I sit at the opened window with the birds.
Watching as they power through the birdseed, I am fully emerged in their world,
and I feel the cold within me start to melt. I take new steps to ward off the darkness,
taking daily measure of this new path I am testing out. I adjust accordingly, as I
welcome hope and enlightenment in. I experience aha-moments, target my emotions,
recalculate, and fine tune my practice. I let go of seeking out past confirmations,
and focus instead on the proof before me.

at my Feet

December 16, 2022

"What is the good of your stars and trees, your sunrise and the wind, if they do not enter into our daily lives?"

~ Howards End by E. M. Forster

The cold seeps deep into my bones as I cautiously walk the back yard. The patio is a sheet of ice and the grass solid below my feet. I am infatuated by the frosted outlines on the various leaves scattered around my feet. and wonder if others see the intricate beauty that quickens my heart.

bird Watching

December 14, 2022

“Oh, the little birds sang east, and the little birds sang west.”

– Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I have him removed the screen on one of the dining room windows. Now I sit there, the window open to the chill of winter, and watch the birds. I am surprised how this little practice has enriched my days.