"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers, and me."
- Kermit the Frog
When he spies himself in the big mirror at the end of our hallway, he yells, “Gramma look at me in my new rainbow shirt, it is so beautiful.”
Later we go outside to blow bubbles, where he requests that I do the blowing and he will do the slaying.
My rainbow loving knight! I love this age.
“If a day goes by without my doing something related to photography, it’s as though I’ve neglected something essential to my existence, as though I had forgotten to wake up.”
— Robert Mapplethorpe
My Squarespace subscription expires this month. If I do nothing it will auto renew and I will commit myself to another year of blogging. If I don’t renew, this space will go away. I couldn’t help but wonder how that might feel, so I practiced a bit.
Instead of heading into my office, as I do most mornings to work on photos or a blog post, I walked past it, experimenting with how I might better spend those first couple hours upon waking. I got laundry going early and got to some kitchen drawers I had been wanting to rearrange. Some days I even got a head start on dinner, putting beans to soak, or making a sauce for pasta from scratch. I left my camera inside when I headed out to the garden to work, only to have to come back inside to get it because something beautiful had caught my eye. But I purposely didn’t take as many photos as I usually did, and I ruthlessly deleted many of those I did take. I also questioned the why of all of this.
I spent time in the past, rereading old posts, nit-picking my words and scrutinizing old photos. And what did I discover?
I discovered that this whole process is so ingrained in me that my equilibrium was off, and my whole day seemed a bit discombobulated. For a few days I even took to watching mindless TV because I had convinced myself I had earned the right to relax! Luckily the TV thing spurred me into action and also made him ask me what was going on. He listened as I tried to explain, but simply told me to renew, because the time among my photos is what I deserve to do.
So here are a few more from our trip up to Blaine, where I carried my camera with me everywhere we went. More birds, because as my friend Donna has taught me, we love what we love, and shooting for the mere pleasure of it because my friend Kate has taught me there doesn’t have to be any rules.
We pack a lunch, along with the dog, and head to the small town of Blaine, Washington. Across the bay is British Columbia. I am not sure why it has taken us so long to venture the half hour or so out of town to the border, but I am full of wonder the minute we pull into town. We head to the marina and walk the docks where I feel right at home. We stop and I talk shop with a mother and her grown daughter, both who are packing Nikon cameras with gigantic birding lenses. They had been in town a couple of days up from Seattle. They told me they often take photo trips together. I love this and I think of my mom, who would be 98 today.
We talk to the crabbers on the dock and watch as they pull their nets up. This man almost had his limit, but had to put these two back because they were way too small. He was kind enough to let me take his photo.
I had some creative fun post-processing these photos, doing my best to make them look a bit like one of my dad’s slide (minus the old age cracks). He took hundreds of photos in lots of marinas, all over the Pacific Northwest.
And of course, there has to be a bird. . .
“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Our tiny vegetable garden has produced such goodness this summer. Keeping us in produce and flowers, it is now time to shut things down. I spend time picking the last of everything, only to walk out the next morning to more ripening tomatoes, one more small batch of green beans, and the last strawberry (which I save for Percy to pick). I am always ready for the growing season to be over, knowing next spring I will be beyond eager to get out there again.
Fall is waiting in the wings and I am ready to embrace her.
"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom."
— Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Scarlet Letter)
I just finished read Alice Hoffman’s latest novel . It is full of all the good things she does so well: beautiful words and sentences, strong characters, and a bit of magic. Now I will need to re-read The Scarlet Letter.
“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl
I walk daily in my garden searching for hidden secrets that have yet to reveal themselves. Somedays I am successful, but lately it has become more and more difficult to find the secrets I ache for.
Wonder what I will do about this?
"You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it."
~ Elisabeth Gilbert
This will always be the August where I found joy again. The August where I allowed myself to do things that brought me happiness, without doubt or guilt. The August where I figured out how to allow myself to live life.