sunday morning at the feeder

“There is an unreasonable joy to be had from the observation of small birds going about their bright, oblivious business”

― Grant Hutchison

the last few days I have lived with that lump in my throat 
you know the one . . .
bouncing between melancholy sadness and acute gratitude for all that fills my life, 
I allow all of it to rise to the surface and have its say, 
trying not to focus too hard on the why of it all . . . 
for regret and hindsight are robbers of joy and wisdom, 
and I see all to clearly who the winners here need to be 

***

come closer

Slow it down more, come closer still. A dot appears, like a flesh-flake. It swells like a balloon; it moves, circles, slows, and vanishes. This is your life.”

― Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

It is almost dark before I head outside to notice the world around me. I scold myself for wasting the day doing things I knew I did not want to do.

***

Thursday

It's time to show that we are more than meets the eye.

- Orion Pax: Transformer

He comes to play on Thursday and there is a huge battle. I am not sure who won in the end for they were all still standing when he left. What I do know for sure is that his imagination has no boundaries, for he has never seen a Transformer cartoon or a book. (He does however know just about everything there is to know about dinosaurs.) At one point the dinosaurs were on the ground and the knights had retreated back into the castle, but those tiny transformers . . . they were still standing strong.

***

jubilee

“That old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air ... Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year's mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.”

― Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose

I discover that I am drawn to capture feelings rather than perfection with my camera. I seek out beauty along with moments of deep love. I think about what might jog my memory in years to come - dinner on the deck as summer fades, along with the glow of the black eyed susan’s in the neighbors garden. I like the idea of wiping the slate clean in the fall before the harshness of winter sets in, but mostly I love the word jubilee and what it sparks inside of me.

***